Starwars III Review

Yoda and his fluorescent tube filled with liquid fuel

This weekend we went to see Starwars III and I have to admit I was pleasantly surprised. Judging from the storylines and acting quality of the episodes I and II, my expectations for III were fairly low. The storyline was excellent, but the acting was still horribly stiff and lame. Even Samual L. Jackson, normally very charismatic and interesting, was dull. If only he said some of the lines that were part of an chain-email joke circulated several years ago. I am posting it here for your posterity:

Top 12 Lines We'd Like Mace Windu to Say:
* You can stick your well-laid Death Star plans up your well-laid ass.
* You must go to Dagobah, where you will be taught by Yoda, the sly, sweet motherf--ker who taught me this sh-t.
* That's no moon, asshole - that's a f--king space station!
* I don't care how good you say they are. I ain't fightin' alongside no f--k-ass teddy bears.
* You don't need to see my goddamn identification, 'cause these ain't the motherf--kin' droids you're looking for.
* Womp rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'll never know, 'cause even if it did I wouldn't eat the filthy motherf--ker.
* This is your father's lightsaber. When you absolutely, positively, have to kill every motherf--kin' stormtrooper in the room ... accept no substitutes.
* If Obi-wan ain't home then I don't know what the f--k we're gonna do. I ain't got no other connections on Tattooine.
* Feel the Force, motherf--ker!
* "What!?" ain't no planet I've ever heard of! Do they speak Bocce on What?
* You sendin' the Fett? S--t, Hutt, that's all you had to say!
* Yeah Chewie Rocky Horror's got a hair problem. What the brother gonna do? He's a wookie.
* Does Jabba the Hutt look like a b-tch?
* Hand me my lightsaber ... it's the one that says, 'Bad Mother F--ker.'

Oh well, we can't have everything in life.